Could anyone critique my poem and help me improve? No need to be kind...?

Your poem is like the town you describe forbidding and defying any understanding. There are some interesting metaphors and images but they do not seem to have a sense of direction. Have a simple idea and let the words take you. "Let this moment linger on the edge of my mind "(OK so far but) Like taste to my tongue,"( big gap in idea) And I'll starve for eternity just to keep you alive; ( but I have already lost my understanding) to give me a reason why..." I think you are trying too hard. Make the poem at least an experience you can enjoy and share with others to likewise enjoy. I am not being unkind but this is truly as I see it.